Just Shoot Me

July 17, 2008

I know, I probably deserve it. I’m the one who’s constantly poking and pushing and prodding the REALTOR population to put more property video online. I should have learned my lesson, though, after I cajoled the industry into putting more photos online, only to have ended up with the creepy, scary stuff we’re seeing today.

I thought I’d seen it all. I could even get used to the bad photos. Now it has moved into video - and if this is what we’re going to get from REALTORS, I’m thinking I might do better herding cats.

Take a look at this video (Click to open in a new Window; then hold on!) - courtesy of one of our Senior National Trainers, Amy Chorew:

Does anyone besides me remember Mystery Science Theater 2000? Talk about CREEPY!

Now, let’s be fair: At face value, this video is called a “Sample” by its creator. There’s a second one on the user’s profile, which features a woman (still creepy). From what I can tell, it looks like someone is testing some technology to “automatically” make a video from photos of a property, the agent, and computer generated animation (of the mouth) and text-to-speech. Maybe these are example videos from a potential new web video vendor, and not REALLY videos from an agent.

If that’s the case, here’s some unsolicited business advice to the vendor: Pack it in.

Oh, I’m sure there will be lots of agents who would just love this technology. Imagine, they can put up videos by simply uploading their creepy photos, their high-school picture from their website and some text. The “computer” will magically assemble it into a “video” and they will not have to do any work! I bet at leat 100,000 agents would use this technology - and pay for it - in a jiffy!

Sellers, however, should be mortified. In an age where the average seller is 47 years old, and has sold 3.3 homes already in their lifetime, to think that they would be happy with their agent putting up this “Monty Python” style marketing for their home is absurd.

Why don’t they just let their answering machine do the marketing for them?Sounds like the text-to-speech is about the same quality……

Certainly, this technology itself doesn’t hold a lock on creating bad real estate sales videos. If you’re looking for laughs, just check out any of these similarly home-grown B-rated films:

This is a real person, doing their best to imitate a robot’s voice. A “just the facts” approach to narration.

This next one’s great: It’s a cross between a stake-out and someone who just learned how to use the ZOOM feature of their camera and is so happy they make it go in and out repeatedly. Get your air-sickness bag before watching this one:

The next one combines the best in poor photography with the classic style of a 1930s silent movie. Shows a real grasp of the concept of “video”…

This one gets kudos for the music, but someone teach the agent where the Shift key is on the keyboard. If you’re going to use text, maybe you should capitalize sentences? Be sure to check out the “capacious” family room (their word, not mine…).

Of course, if we’re not careful, we’ll end up looking like this SPOOF of an agent. Given some of the videos I’ve seen, however, maybe it’s not too far from the truth?

I’m supposed to write some kind of “wrap up” at the end of this entry. But I’m stuck - really - for the right words. You’ve finally done it: You’ve rendered Matthew Ferrara speechless with your real estate marketing. Now that’s the power of the internet!

Somebody, please: Just shoot me!

Written by Matthew Ferrara · Filed Under Marketing, REALTORS, Real Estate Technology

Comments

4 Responses to “Just Shoot Me”

David M Childress on July 21st, 2008 4:55 pm

Those are hilarious and agents really should not do their own video if they are not capable of better. That Mystery science one is actually a company. I got one of their ads and looked on their website. I could not stop laughing, as you probably. They actualy wanted me to pay them for this service!!!! I was kinda creeped out, can you imagine one of my clients seeing that? Think I would last long with that listing?
admin on July 21st, 2008 6:23 pm

Thanks, David, for your comment. The only thing we can hope is that brokers and managers have enough sense to keep an eye on their agents - on behalf of their sellers. I have to tell you, I’ve seen a lot of kooky ideas over the years - and some that definitely capitalize on agent laziness - but this one takes the cake!

Here’s to still photographs! Heck, I’d take a lithograph before those kinds of video.

Where did I put my clay tablet……..?

- Matthew
Deborah Heffernan on July 23rd, 2008 6:24 pm

Dennis Moore was as creepy as Ally McBeal’s dancing baby, but lacked the entertainment value and wasn’t nearly as cute.
Emily Lopez on July 25th, 2008 10:14 am

Capacious- (adjective); large in capacity

For the record here…I’m not using it in my marketing! AND perhaps doing a JibJab type of advertising/marketing is all we are missing here to complete the collection of how to NOT….Mystery Science Theatre had me in stitches!!

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